“People say love is Hell, it’s a shiny prison cell where time stops...” How do these lyrics make you feel? Your heart may feel a little heavy, or perhaps you even feel sorry for the artist who wrote the autobiographical words. It does make you think though about the times you’ve related to those lines. You can relate, and this is what sells records.
How about these words, “Your love is like a river, peaceful and deep...” I bet your heart rate decreased a few beats per minute and your body isn’t as tense; your entire face has relaxed as your eyes gaze up into the air imagining a quiet river flowing through a forest of green leaves and blue sky.
There’s a powerful connection in both lyrics. There are times we need to call upon those emotions. That release of joy or hurt are healthy, when we sit in our car and whisper-cry quietly for 20 minutes singing along in between salty tears or fearlessly screaming out “And Iii-iyiiiii will always love youuuu!” with your arms out of the car window – hair blowing in the wind.
The problem occurs when we start to believe the songs were written for us. We start to think reactively about our misfortunes. “He never loved me,” “She hated when I...therefore I hate doing it” “Love IS a battlefield!” We are not a result of our feelings and emotions. Differentiating humans from animals is that ability to think about our own mindset – AND CHANGE IT. We create our own weather. All it takes is a shift in our thinking, and perhaps a new music channel on Pandora.
If your search history contains “break-up songs” or “sad love songs” you will continue to become hopeless about finding emotional strength again. You will continue to be reactive rather than proactive about yourself, which in turn directly affects your self-assurance in social situations. Thinking proactively about your own positive attributes will only allow others to see them more clearly in you. Your partner or the people you date will start to enjoy your time together more and will see the joy and self-confidence in your heart!
Make it your goal today, to edit your playlist! Start over with a new paradigm, a new way of looking at love. You create your own weather. Pick a theme that will allow you to shout out, “Don’t Stop Believin’...hold on to that feel-eyiennnn!” And, at all costs, avoid the Taylor Swift station!